︎ :  --- SELF : SERVICE

“Sleep, or Lack Thereof”

In Dialogue :

Philip Guston, “Painter In Bed”︎︎︎

Philip Guston, “Pittore”︎︎︎


(Drawing from) the feeling that my insomnia is my own doing, my own fault. I keep myself awake when I know I have to sleep… When I know I should just do it. Trying to sleep can feel physically draining and it feels like a fight with myself every time I do. A fight I can’t seem to win most of the time. Sometimes I wrestle with myself so intensely that I get exhausted and knock out and wake up in the morning (or in most cases, in the afternoon) before I even realize I had fallen asleep. I feel a prisoner in a confinement of my own design.
In his paintings “Pittore” (1973) and “Painter in Bed” (1973), a particular motif that stuck out to me was the singular eye-  And god how they look dry and exhausted.

After seeing one on top of the other, I like to believe that “Pittore” takes place moments after “Painter In Bed.” The eye in “Pittore” looks as though it’s in so much more pain— much more strained and bloodshot.  And the presence of the clock is portrayed, looming over the painter, as if to remind him of its presence— to remind him that his time to rest is running out… no, his time on this earth is running out.

...I love the detail of the blanket being so tight, constricting the painter like a strait-jacket. A prisoner of the bed. A prisoner in his human flesh. A prisoner of time. All those things coincide...

Mixed media,
Graphite on paper, 8.5”x11” + Digital collage and type,


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